The Journey
by SweetHarmonee
Summary: Cid has finally made it back to outer space. And he'll never come back.
1. Chapter 1

_εγλ 0007, 0008, 0009, 0010_

Back then... those years... Dammit. My life meant somethin'.

I had so much to fuckin' live for. That damn Shera, Barret, the others... My friends. The airship. The World Regenesis Organization. Hell, we saved the planet how many times now? I was a god damn hero.

But none of that shit was ever enough. Ever since I was a kid, I've been dreamin' about becoming the first man in space. My dream came true a few years back, but I needed to go back. I needed to go back into space and explore. And now I've finally fuckin' made it.

Then the ship's communication system busted, but I thought "Hell, someone'll fix that!"

I thought it was just a small error, somethin' someone could easily fix through the computer servers back home. But then there were days of silence - nothin' but static comin' from the radio. I think that's when reality hit me smack in the face. Somethin' must've been damaged outside.

I had finally made it - floating idle above the Planet's atmosphere. All by myself. The irony.

At first, I tried to just ignore the shit situation I was in. For weeks I kept to schedule, no communication with anyone below on solid ground. But still, I kept doing the routine ship maintenance, eatin', workin' out, starin' off into space tryin' to ignore the likelihood that I was gonna die up here.

I just kept tellin' myself "one more day". Sayin' it out loud to myself every so often, kept me from losing my fuckin' sanity. A bit. But what I didn't know was that my team, the others, had already given up hope on me. How could they even begin to look for me? I had built the first and only ship that made it to fuckin' space. There was no way for them to come for me. They left me up here for dead.

But I wasn't fuckin' dead yet, assholes. I was alive... alive and well.

Left to rot to pieces up here in zero gravity.


	2. Chapter 2

... I miss solid ground. I miss the fuckin' Planet. The grass, the blue sky, people - Shera.

"W-who's there..." Then I began to lose my fuckin' mind. "Who's there?! Did you hear that? That noise? Or was it a voice?"

 _Yes, we heard it._

"Don't play dumb, you piece of shit! I know you're there! Say somethin'!" I scream out at nothin', at no-one. "I don't need you, I don't fuckin' need anyone!"

* * *

"Please, someone talk to me!"

I can feel someone. I can feel someone close by... talk to me.

"Don't ignore me, you fuckin' asshole! I know you're watching me! Man, fuck you then."

 _... Cid._

* * *

The planet is still so far away.

"At least you're here, buddy. Let's make some grub."

 _You don't remember._

"Whatcha talkin' about, buddy?"

 _There are no more supplies. No more food._

I laugh hysterically, "You're losing it! We got plenty left!"

I wait for my buddy to speak, but it says nothing.

"I wasn't hungry anyway, we'll just eat later or somethin'."

 _You will die up here, Cid._

"No I fuckin will' not!" I scream out. "We'll just... conserve our supplies. Yeah, that's what we'll do!"

 _Go home, Cid._

"The... it... everything is broken..."

 _Give up already._

"Stop!"

 _You don't care about them anymore - Shera, your friends, Rocket Town._

"What the fuck are you talking about? You don't even got one clue, buddy! They... mean the world to me."

 _Then why did you leave them? You don't belong here._

"I'm stuck here, asshole!"

 _Humans... you are all the same. Insensitive. Inconsiderate. Callous. Scared._

"Scared?" I laugh nervously. "I'm not scared of shit! I just can't go home. The shit is all busted."

 _Cid, yesterday we told you that was not the case._

"Fuckin' liars!"

 _We told you that there is only simple interference with the communication transmitter and how to fix that._

 _Stop lying to yourself. Stop pretending to be stuck here. You are too scared to go outside._


	3. Chapter 3

Barret... Vincent... Yuffie... Cloud... Tifa... Reeve... Red... I miss you all so much.

But Shera. Your round glasses. Your auburn hair. Fuckin' Shera... you were one of the best on my team.

So, why did you have to die up here? You were supposed to be an expert! How the fuck did you get us lost up here?! Floating through the darkness... But it wasn't all your fault. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I hate myself for that right now. Maybe if I hadn't fuckin' screamed at you, you wouldn't have took that knife and... God dammit Shera! You've always been so fuckin' weak!

I promise you, Shera, I swear on my life - I am not going to die up here like you.

I'm gonna make it home.

The team back home will come up with somethin' and they'll find me.

I'll go back home and save the Planet again. For her.

* * *

I'm not going outside, not uh. It's too dark. They're lying to me.

 _Cid. Answer us._

 _You need to go outside._

"I can't... I'm scared."

 _You're pathetic._

"Shut the fuck up!"

 _Your friends miss you, Cid. They want you to come home._

"They don't give a fuck about me."

 _Cid._

"Shut up! You're not even real!"

 _Your friends miss you, Cid. They miss their cowardly friend, Cid._

 _You are a coward, Cid. That's why you're going to die here all alone._

"Everybody dies alone, everybody."

 _Shera didn't. She died here, with you._

"You shut your goddamn mouths about Shera!"

 _Your friends are better off if you die up here. You don't care about them._

"... yes I do."

 _Don't lie to us, Cid. We can see the truth. You don't care about any of the people that love you._

 _Like Shera, you're going to decay and slowly fade away into nothing up here._

"Stop it!"

 _For a human, you're very inhumane, Cid. You killed Shera._

"Shut the fuck up!"

 _If your friends knew what you had done up here, they'd be ashamed of you. Disgusted._

"No! Shera, we're going home! We're coming!"

 _No, Cid. What are you doing?_

Putting on my space suit and helmet, I make my way quickly to the airlock door.

"I'm coming home!"


	4. Chapter 4

... where am I?

The ship. But wait, wasn't I... going outside? Did I imagine all that?

The voice of the ships automated system blares through the speakers "Incoming transmission, please stand by."

"Oh my fuckin' god!" I stand up, confused and excited. "The fuckin' communication system!"

I grab the mic, "... Come in?"

"Mother fucker!" A man's familiar voice blasts through the speakers. "Cid, is that you?"

"Cid... yeah! It's me! Who's this?"

"Man, you're alive! Cid! Cloud, Vincent - he's really alive!"

Another familiar voice, a woman's "I can't believe it! We've been looking for you for five years!"

"Please... help..." I struggle to speak. "Guys, I'm gonna... need some assistance."

"Sure! Sure!" A new, but familiar voice. "We're sending out a rescue team ASAP! Just hang in there, Cid!"

New voice, "We're gonna bring you home! Radio in when..."

I start to scream, "No! Can you guys, please stay... talk to me until they get here."

"Of course, man. Of course."

"Thank you... Barret."

"It ain't no thing! Just hang in there, man!" Barret laughs. "Hey, Reeve wants me to ask - how did you fix the comm system shit? It's been broken over here for years."

"... what?" I struggle to answer, confused. "No, I... thought... no! You guys must've fixed it!"

* * *

... And I'd snapped. They weren't ever coming. Was it all a dream?

I was floating through space. Endlessly. For-fuckin-ever.

I need to get home. Did I die? Did I survive?

What the hell just happened? Depressed. Alone. Confused. Don't do this to me.

Alone... with star dust.

* * *

"Man has gone out to explore other worlds and other civilizations without having explored his own labyrinth of dark passages and secret chambers, and without finding what lies behind doorways that he himself has sealed."

― Stanisław Lem, Solaris


End file.
